Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in taylor_r0s3's LiveJournal:

Monday, March 5th, 2007
6:35 pm	Fuck. $10 says im not making honor roll this term. I KNOW for a fact im getting at least 2 B- and I think one C-. Maybe 2 As. Maybe. I guess I've gotten sloppy and stopped applying myself because I'd rather go on the computer or read or listen to music or whatever instead of doing homework. I do relatively well in my classes and on tests and shit but I just dont do homework. It wont be hard to fix. Plus, the last trimester is always hella easy. Eh. I'm just not too concerned. I think I'm gonna ask Cory or Hayato to help me dye my hair this weekend. Or tasha, if she wont flip a shit (LOL ILY.) Everyone says to stop but I guess I'm bored and have given up on having generally attractive hair. I'm actually pretty content with the color, but I feel unoriginal. I want bright fuckin pink, which is more unoriginal than normal hair, but whatever. It's hella cliche and I think thats what I want right now. I want to be stereotyped and cliched. I want someone to tell me what to do. I have a lot of different people influincing me right now and im not closer with any of them than the others so I don't know how to act. Thats right, I model my behaivor after those around me. I just want to please people. Which is why I'm fucked right now because all my friends are approxmately the same closeness to me right now which is not very. I haven't been telling anyone any thing as of late. Oh right, so hair... Yeah im probably gonna do dark brown and pink lowlights unless someone convinces me against it. I don't know what I want. "I got nothin to say,I'm in utter dismay, I got nothin' to say." Strokes lyrics aren't particularly hard to figure out which is why they are so great. Catchy, genuinely enjoyable pop. Current Music: First Impressions of Earth -The Strokes (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 28th, 2007
8:30 pm	Super Energy Boosters!Deluxe Lately I have had a lot of pressure, drama with friends, and not a lot of sleep. But I guess things are improving. I've had a few sort of awkward situations going on with people I guess. I mean I'm doing things that "feel" like I should be doing according to whatever "standards" I'm expected to adhere to. I guess that makes most people happy. Apart from teachers and family, I am doing a relatively good job of appeasing everyone. I think. I mean, I'm harboring some things that no one really knows about. So if not telling people how you feel means having friends then yeah, I suppose my social situation is great. And there are a million things I need/want to tell everyone, I'm just to lazy and tired and confused and afraid to. I laugh at the jokes that are intended for me to laugh at. I don't really think they are funny. I show empathy to others even if I don't want to. I talk to people I don't care about to pass the time. To fill the void. I don't really have anyone I can tell everything right now. Except maybe a complete stranger. There are things i'm keeping from everyone. Mostly for good reason. Don't expect to see a sullen teen emanating all the sentiments of this post if you see me. I smile. I laugh. I hang out with people and appear to be a very happy, well-balanced youth. Then again, looks are often deceiving. I was trying to talk to someone at an event today. They constantly looked out the window, waiting for a certain person to show up (they never did) and after any joke or story I told; silence. Usually followed by "Where the fuck is __________??" That was cool. I need a haircut. I'm beginning to adapt to functioning on 3-6 hours of sleep a night. I guess that's all. I'm pretty much running on auto-pilot. Current Mood: indifferent (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 20th, 2007
8:37 pm	:| so today was....better? Lastnight sam&friends came home from semi and i stayed up till 1 talking with them and stuff. and then uh this morning i made crossoints (sp?) for them and everyone ate them and it was cool. and I got my hair cut and it looks REALLY cute but i cant seem to capture it with pictures. But I can't wait to find someone to hang out with and show it off too. its very shaggy and fluffy and smells nice. Lots and lots of layers. I'm happy. GOD DAMNIT SOMEONE DO SOMETHING WITH ME TOMMOROW. IWWNT TO SHOW THIS OFF!! (Comment on this)
Friday, January 19th, 2007
3:42 pm	Under Pressure On Wednesday I got a note home from My health teaceher saying i failed to complete 3 assignments (which i did during study hall and turned in at the end of the day instead of in class) and my dad grounded me. Oh and last week I got a note from my latin teacher saying that i didnt turn in half of the homework assignment and that I got a D (ON A HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. NOT A BIG DEAL.) So I was grounded twice as long. Then today I found out the science test I thought I aced, I failed. D+. I'm going to make it up, hopefully raising it toa C or B-. but whatever. and then i'm worried that certain friends are getting sick of me or whatever, and i'm just under so much fucking pressure from everyone. and im grounded. I don't know who to talk to without feeling like I'm bitching and moaning about pointless shit but I want someone to just be like "oh that? thats ok. it will be cool. I promise." But guess not. Whatever. I've been having a very trying week and I just want someone to empathize or sympathize or something and I guess thats pretty fucking selfish and egotistical, to think other people should care about my shit, but whatever, I can't help it, I have this natural need for attention, which is also pretty fucking egotistical. And I'm just so fed up with everything and everyone and it always feels like everythings dandy and fine until you get moody and depressed and people think you want them to leave you alone and your waiting for someone, anyone, to ask if your ok or anything and it feels like shit. I feel like shit. And my dad is walking in. he just said im not grounded because he called my latin teacher, who said i had raised my performance up to 'mediocre' (fucking asshole) and the other teacher called and said i caught up with my work. So I guess it's looking up. I don't know who I would hang out with anyways because everyone wont want to hang out with the moody pissy fuckign emotional kid but whatever. Whatever. Lunch today was good. I checked in at film club, asked some questions and figured out how im going to finish filming/editing my movie. then i went to mr. browns room where the usual group (Greg, Katherine, Crighton, Hayato, Lillian, Drew, Eric, Christie, & Erol) alternated in and out. Katherine, Greg, Eric, Christie and I listened to music and slept on the floor and then Greg got up and starting throwing things and there was chaos and wrestling going on I guess so I turned the volume up and read a book. I guess that was all very comforting, to be around people I like but not have to hear anything. People's lips move awfully fast when they talk. And I guess it was comforting to have chaos going on in the backround. That feels like home to me ( I have a lot of siblings.) and it was nice to have a sleepy kind of moment where everyone who was listening to music was just lying there and looking kind of unattatched-ly at all the jumping and screaming and fighting and just noticing everyone and enjoying eachothers company. I guess that made me feel better. This is before I found out about the test, but still. It was a nice way to spend an hour. Whatever. Current Mood: melancholy (Comment on this)
3:42 pm	This weekend: Friday I went out to boston to get my laptop fixed. it works QUITE nicely now and i couldnt be happier. On the way in, I stopped by Newbury Comix and picked up some hair dye and books and stuff and saw Sam and his Brigade of Geeks. Oh goodie. But whatever it was cool and i stayed inside and read Paste and they played with their precious hackysack (new favorite toy, they are CONSTANTLY using it) in front of the store. When I got home I reuploaded most of my CDs, and realized what a pitifully small amount of music I have. It was depressing. I only have about 38 CDs, which sounds like a lot but, looking through my iPod, I realized it really isn't. Of course, because of my chronic messiness I've lost 80% of my CDs over the years. Saturday was spent hanging out at the house with Adam and Kevin and making plans for filming the next day. SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! I woke up at 8 and looked out the window till ten. then I called tasha and dan and then tasha came by to pick me up. We drove to the commons and walked aorund for like half an hour looking for a freaking outdoor table for filming. It was rainy and kind of gross, so tasha let me wear her hat. That helped with my frizzy hair. Then Dan showed up and we ran through the scenes, and then Crighton, Adam, James, and Sam showed up and we started filming. I'm pretty satisfied with what we came out with and cant wait to get the rest filmed (REMEMBER DAN&TASHA, WE'RE FILMING IT ON SUNDAY. CHECK YO CALENDERS.) Monday was lame. Today was good. End of story, I am done typing. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
8:04 pm	And Mom Would Stick a Fork Right Into Daddy's Shoulder... When did our nation become so incredibly overexposed and heartless? I was watching American Idol (I know) and I saw all these people honestly getting their dreams crushed rudely on national television and LAUGHED. and people can flip right through channels with horrifying footage and they are initially shocked. after maybe a day or two they could care less. Gruesome stories inked onto black and white pages of the newpaper are skimmed through, brushed aside by all save those whom they concern. Drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes couldn't frighten our youth less if they were pansies. Blood and gore doesn't shock us, it ENTERTAINS us. We can't muster pity for human suffering and sacrifice. But this is essential. If we were constantly looking at others pain, constantly feeling things for others, no one would LIVE. no one would love, or be loved. So feigning ignorance and keeping a cool steady emotionless void in a section of our hearts gives us room to worry about ourselves, and, I suppose, gets us through the day. Feeling nothing, and feeling everything. It is the same. _____________________________________________________________________________ Curently : music - Regina Spektor Sampson Neutral Milk Hotel- King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1 Half-Handed Cloud- We're Very Greatly Loved The Smiths- Asleep The Fiery Furnaces- Rub Alcohol Blues, Evergreen The Flaming Lips- Fight Test Reading- Under The Radar (current AND backissues, just got my subscription) Sex Drugs And Cocoa Puffs- Chuck Klosterman Possible Side Affects- Augusten Burroughs Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
6:30 am	LMS. Just got back from going to see Little Miss Sunshine. I knew it was a good movie right away because of three things 1.) In the trailer/ first ten minutes of the film they played Chicago by Sufjan Stevens. When I heard this in the theater I started jumping on my seat and clapping. The old woman in front of me wasnt too happy. 2.) There's an old man snorting coke in the first 2 minutes. 3.) VERY attractive boy in lead part. Ok maybe I'm slightly shallow. Anyways I went by myself which is a new experience for me. I know a friend of mine does this quite often but I usually go with a few people. But it was cool. You didnt have anyone talking during the film which is reeaallly nice and hog the popcorn. So it was a relaxing way to spend an afternoon. And it was prettty much the greatest movie I've ever seen. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 30th, 2006
12:09 am	Insomnia Ok. I think i have like major insomnia. I don't know why. When there are other people in the room im fine but just...lying there....in the dark. Ehhhh I dont know I couldnt fall asleep at ALL for the past week. Unnngh. Anyone have any tips? I stay up too late and no one's online and i dont wanna call anyone. Ughhh. My celll phone is officiallly like X.X dead. It wont turn on even when it's plugged into the charger... Sunday seems so close and...so far. Ugh. Xx Ok i love you xX Ok. It's 2:01. I'm back. No one is online. the lightning lights up EVERYTHING in my yard. It's like daytime, but instead of a yellowish glow over everything, it's like sillouhettes against a bright blue backround. The thunder is really loud. I'm kind of scared.... It's a little frightening and soothing at the same time. Current Mood: restless Current Music: Loud (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 29th, 2006
9:06 pm	Conor Oberst Is The King Of Hamburgers! Well...this sort of sucks. It's my first entry, and i cant make many more this summer. Let me explain: I go to camp on sunday ((<333)) but im gonna amiss my friends terribly. I go for 7 weeks and i only come home on weekends. So i can only really post on weekends. Meh. I'm really happy about my new pink hair, but i cant make it look all straight like it does in my picture. only the person who cut it can do that. i think she''s magical. o.O when i try it just ends up looking wet and stringy. But straight...which is a pretty big feat considering that i'm naturally curly-haired. I painted my nails to match my hair. A bunch of tourists with their pants up past their elbows stopped and stared at me. I guess I kind of liked that. i dont know. I was google imaging conor oberst last night at like 3 AM ((i was kinda bored)) and i found this... http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y252/screamingturnip/ConorOberstKingofHamburgers.jpg bahaha. I absolutley love it and i dont. know. why! anyways check it out. It made me laugh for like 10 minutes. then again, so do radishes at 3 AM. hmm. Anyways.. Today : Hung out in the commons all day with gabby. Well, comment if you love me! Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Rilo Kiley (3 Comments |Comment on this)